That would be my mom.
My mother died 9 years ago, when I was only six years old. Honestly, I don’t remember much of it, since I was so young and all. But I’ll tell you what I remember.
She was diagnosed with brain tumor earlier that year (2003). Before that, she had been in and out of the hospital here in Malolos, Bulacan but the doctors could not see what was wrong. This went on for a few months and the doctors still could not see anything wrong, so we brought her to Manila. There we found out that she had brain tumor. Arrangements for her operation were dealt with quickly, and soon she was in the operating room. The doctors did what they should, and I was told she was in the ICU.
I couldn’t stay in the hospital because that was the time of the SARS epidemic, and people with the illness were constantly being brought in. I was brought home. I remember crying in the car, though I still can’t remember why. I was only going home. Why was I crying so much?
Only later did I realize that maybe I was crying because I knew I would never see her alive again. She was supposed to live through the operation, and she did for a while. But one of the veins opened and shut during the operation burst, and that was all it took. A small vein. Blood filled my mother’s brain, and she passed.
I think what I regret the most that time (and until now) was that I wasn’t close to her. I mean, I remember those days when I would go to the hospital straight from school. I would climb up the hospital bed and stay by her side. But I didn’t feel too much for my mom then, because I was young and I didn’t know about things like death and grieving. I wish that I’d given her more of my time. I wish that I had taken a step to become closer to her. I wish that I had showed her and told her how much I love her. But I did not do that. All these will remain wishes, never to come true.
It’s strange how the little things that don’t seem to matter can affect people so profoundly, isn’t it? I mean, imagine. What if that vein did not burst? Would I still have my mom here now? These questions haunt me until now, and I’ve never told anyone.
The most important thing I have learned from that experience is this: Give importance to everything and everyone in your life because you never know when God will take them away. Make sure you show them how much you love them so when that last day comes to them, you won’t have any regrets.
Stay strong and keep moving forward! 🙂
The Daily Post has brought back prompts! 🙂
This post answers the prompt:
Write about the most precious thing you’ve ever lost.